I'm Sorry
Letting go as you emerge
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A song I recently discovered on my journey to forgiveness:
The concept of Ho’oponopono is rooted in Hawaiian traditions to help create reconciliation between families and to mend relationships. It loosely translates as “to make right”.
A process of restoring balance in the soul.
It is usually overseen with a mediator called a “Kahuna” which is the Hawaiian term for healer. It was modernised to become a process for self-forgiveness, thanks to the work of Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, a Hawaiian Healer, and Dr Hew Len, a Hawaiian Psychologist.
It isn’t a surprise that I’ve been contemplating forgiveness as Spring is emerging.
Spring is an invitation to let go of things that are no longer serving the new version of me that wants to emerge. Sometimes that means letting go of physical things and relationships, but for me it means letting go of emotional baggage.
The weight of those emotions that were carried from the past because they felt familiar. The ones that always felt part of my story.
But stories can change.
Chapters end.
New ones begin.
Nature guides that process intuitively each year through the seasons. The trees shed their leaves without hesitation. The flowers bloom again after the harshest winters.
The Earth Mother is the ultimate healer, the space holder for all of us. When we lean into her rhythms, we lean into our own.
I feel Mother Earth whispering her wisdom to cleanse my soul again.
The question I’ve been asking myself:
Who do I owe an apology to?
There are a bunch of people I feel I owe an apology to because—with the benefit of hindsight + self-awareness—I can see how I did things I’m not proud of today.
But the person I need to forgive the most is….
myself.
I need to let myself off the hook.
I am not a villain. I’m just a boy trying to find his place in the world without a map. And yes, sometimes I will make mistakes along the way.
I apologise to myself for not knowing any better at the time. I did what I thought was best. I apologise to myself for being too hard on myself, not realising I’ve inherited other people’s standards of me. I apologise to myself for the times I betrayed myself in pursuit of helping others who didn’t want to be helped. I apologise to myself for needing to be perfect and holding myself to unrealistic standards. I apologise to myself for not always knowing what to do or how to be. I wasn’t given the perfect blueprint on how to live this life. I’m figuring it out as I go and sometimes I will stumble. That’s ok. I’m learning.
The eyes through which I see the world has changed and will continue to change.
What in your life has expired?
What no longer serves the version of you that is trying to emerge—or has been waiting to emerge for a while now?
Who do you need to forgive?
We often blame others for our suffering, focusing on what they did wrong. And maybe they did. But if you’re human, like me, you’ve likely hurt someone too—intentionally or not—at some point in your life. Maybe that person is still in your life. Maybe they aren’t. Maybe they’re no longer even alive. But the weight of an unspoken apology lingers. You don’t necessarily have to have the conversation with them directly to move through this process. Simply acknowledging it, even in the quiet of your own heart, can begin to release that deep layer of guilt you’ve been holding onto.
Ho’oponopono goes like this:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
Holding onto guilt does nothing for your spirit. It’s like walking through life with a bag of heavy stones slung over your shoulder.
Maybe it’s time to set them down.
With love,
V
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