Reflections From An Old Soul - PART 3
Soul Wisdom is a weekly newsletter. Please feel free to share parts of this letter that connect with you, or send to someone you love. A special shout out to all the new subscribers who joined since the last newsletter. Thank you for valuing my work when there are so many things that can take your attention online. I appreciate you. It means everything. 🖤
Soul Circle 🪬👁️✨
Soul Circle is a monthly group space to help you feel more safe and less lonely. You’ll connect deeply with me and other courageous open hearted souls who are on a self-discovery journey just like you.
What do you get?
a guided meditation,
wisdom teachings on soulful topics,
live Q&A with me and reflective questions,
a safe space to release the heaviness in your heart!!!
“Surrendering means giving up your existing idea of life, not giving up on life.”
Earlier this month the group call was 🔥
I talked about:
👉🏽 Letting go of the shackles of your past
👉🏽 How to surrender to the unknown (where all new possibilities live)
👉🏽 Creating a new vision of life that’s aligned to who you are NOW (not who you’ve been).
I’m so proud of how vulnerable, open, and courageous these men and women are.
These conversations aren’t always easy to have but they’re so damn fulfilling and purposeful to host.
It’s a f*cking privilege and honour to hold space for humans as they dive deep into their soul to explore who they are each month in this group.
I don’t know what work is more important than this.
You either live a life that’s truly fulfilling to you or you live quietly desperate in the shadows repeating the same cycles everyday.
Next call is Tuesday 23rd July at 6PM BST (replay will be available).
I’d love to see you there!
Reflections From An Old Soul - PART 3
Note: If you missed the previous parts you don’t need to read them in order to read this one. Each of these pieces are independent of one another. Its a space for me to talk about a string of random things currently coming up for me.
What I’m learning on my journey is to acknowledge the anger. To really feel it and express it. Then let it go so I can be fully in the present. I’m carefully watching my thoughts and emotions to ensure I’m not allowing myself to drift into the past and relive past emotions because it fractures my energy and I can’t create a new reality from that place. I can only do that in the present moment. The present is where all the possibilities are.
My body got sick for a few days earlier this week. Whilst I was laying in bed resting I noticed my mind saying “You should be up doing something productive. Don’t waste this day.” It's an old critical voice I am learning to let go of. This is a reminder that resting is doing something. It is productive because it is the space in which the body can truly heal. The body is our only true home.
For a long time I defaulted to compassion and empathy and didn’t give much room to acknowledge my anger. Why is that a problem? Because I lacked boundaries to protect myself. Compassion was disguised as self-betrayal as I was giving away parts of my soul to save others who didn’t want to be saved. It’s now become a journey of finding a healthy balance of honouring compassion and anger within myself. You can love people and not have them in your life. It’s ok to have boundaries to protect your peace.
Some of us are reliving the pain of the past over and over every single day in our minds. Let that shit go. You don’t need to keep suffering. That version of you does not need to be the main character anymore.
Being in a romantic relationship will show you where you are still holding on to old patterns of behaviour from childhood. You can choose to let them go and write a new love story. The new version of sexy is someone who is committed to working on their unhealthy patterns and wants to emotionally and spiritually develop.
Men don’t really have healthy role models. As a result, it’s easy to continue cycles and justify our behaviour due to the lack of examples. I’ve noticed every now and again a dark moody cloud can come over me when I dwell on my past. Its like a ghost in a horror movie that grabs me by the ankles and takes me to hell. Controlling the energy of the room was something my dad did (knowingly or unknowingly) in order to stay in control. I understand it was his pattern to stay safe but it’s also a form of emotional manipulation and abuse. I subconsciously picked it up and only noticed it my relationship. I’m learning to recognise my patterns more and more each day and release and rewrite the story of where I want my energy to be.
It's important to approach healing from different levels: mental, emotional, physical and spiritually. As time goes on I’ve needed to intuitively feel into what I’ve needed. Sometimes it’s a coach, other times it’s a massage.
Being spiritual doesn’t mean you renounce material things and live in a cave. I love nice things. You can wear Hugo Boss jeans and Prada trainers and still maintain your connection to Spirit. Spirituality is about recognising the divine is in everything and everyone. It is about being fully immersed in life and yet having a healthy detachment.
Appreciate the things you now have that you once desired. This was the view from my balcony a few weeks ago.
View from my balcony taken on my iPhone I’m in awe of sunsets. This particular view makes me so appreciate the magic of life because I always envisioned having my own apartment with a view and I had no idea how it would happen. Eventually life lined up the circumstances. If there is a dream you’re desiring please let go a little more and trust life to guide you. It may not happen when or how you think but your soul works on a different divine timeline and it will happen eventually. Keep faith.
There’s a difference between a parent being physically present and emotionally present. Just because someone is in your life doesn’t mean they met your needs. It’s the difference between thinking you’re loved and actually feeling loved. We can mistake love for someone simply being present in our lives and available all the time. Just because someone is present and available in your life to do physical things with you like run errands, make dinner, eat dinner together, provide clothes, toys, and shelter, doesn’t mean you felt loved. Feeling loved comes from how EMOTIONALLY PRESENT that parent is. Unfortunately most people don’t have a healthy role model of what that is so they simply act based on what they witnessed growing up and pass it onto their kids. At some point, someone in the family must do the deep inner work to recognise these unhealthy patterns and the change the trajectory of their identity to a conscious loving person.
It’s important to delete things from your life often. Delete people, relationships, material things, experiences, habits and beliefs that no longer serve you. You are becoming a different person. It is important not to allow your life to keep you stuck and weighed down. Lighten your load. Let go. Are your surroundings nurturing your growth or hindering it?
The limitations in our mind are made up of the societal expectations and beliefs we inherit about what we should and shouldn’t do. One by one as we release these we become free to choose our own source of inspiration and direction. One basic but powerful principle I realised in my own life about when energy feels stuck (I.e. depression) is not to take some major action but to do a small thing like reorganising my room or my cupboard. Simply shifting the energy helps unblock me slowly.
Your sense of pride and self-worth doesn’t need to come from your battle scars. As a society we celebrate those who have suffered and hustled in life. It’s time we shift this story to celebrate those who are working to regulate their nervous system and emotionally develop as humans.
“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.” - Rumi
For a long time I tried to change others thinking I was doing the right thing in helping them see the light. It took years to realise that no one is going to change until they REALLY want to. If they don’t want to be saved and don’t want to be helped there’s no point. It left me exhausted. Trying to change, persuade, or influence others to do something differently is never going to work. Words don’t teach. It’s better to embody the values yourself and live by example. Let go of trying to be the hero, saviour, fixer. The truth cannot be told, it can only be realised.
3 sentences I enjoyed reading this week:
A sentence from the brilliant
—I’ve realised that my voice matters too. Listen.
A beautiful line from
—Honouring your suffering takes vulnerability and courage. When I sit with mine I find I welcome back the parts of me that feel hurt, instead of isolating him. When someone shares their pain with me it allows me to connect even more deeply with them at the level of the heart and I’m reminded that although we may look and sound different, we’re all human. Don’t be afraid to show me your suffering.
A divine reminder from the wise
—there’s no need to rush to do it all because I am everything.
One love 🖤
V
🙏🙏🙏✨💕