Say Nicer Things

Be gentle with yourself

Soul Wisdom is a weekly newsletter. Please feel free to share parts of this letter that connect with you, or send to someone you love. A special shout out to all the new subscribers who joined since the last newsletter. Thank you for valuing my work when there are so many things that can take your attention online. I appreciate you. It means everything. 🖤

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

It’s been a tough start to the year. Contrary to mainstream expectation, you don’t need to be high vibe and positive just because it’s a new year. If you’re feeling angry, frustrated, anxious, or sad, so be it. There is nothing wrong with that. Honour it. Don’t force positivity. Let yourself be where you are. It’s all part of the human experience. I’m being gentle and learning to find my own rhythm. On the darker days I notice myself comparing myself to others. Recognising how much “success” they have in comparison to me. Sometimes it feels like others are flying while I’m fighting to survive just to get through each day. Dealing with things only one day at a time is helping. It’s overwhelming to plan beyond that right now.

I had a conversation with a client recently. At the end of the hour I shared an observation:

"You know in the past hour we've been talking you've not said one positive thing about yourself."

He looked down I disappointment as the truth hit him like an atomic bomb.

He strives to be perfect in every area of life and the weight of it was crushing him on the inside but he wasn’t letting the outside world see it. It affected his intimate relationships and his overall balance in life. He threw himself into his work to strive harder, do more, be more—because ultimately he felt he wasn't enough.

Most of us are very critical of ourselves.

There’s always more room to say nicer things about yourself.

I asked him to write a list of 20 things he liked about himself. Over the following days and weeks, through that process, he began to connect to more compassion forgiveness for all the ways he wasn’t “perfect enough” in the past. All the times he was beating himself up and feeling guilt or shame for not being at his best.

We’re all human. Trying our best to figure it out each day. Some days we stumble. Other days we feel like we’re gliding. It’s ok. We can’t have it all figured out all of the time. We grow through life. Take the pressure off yourself to be perfect all of the time. It’s not realistic. Give yourself the permission to be imperfect and sprinkle a little more love on yourself this year.

Try the exercise of writing the list of things you like about yourself and notice how easy or hard it is. How does it make you feel? What emotions arise? What memories emerge?

If my words have helped you in some way, I humbly invite you to consider upgrading your subscription to paid as a way to show your support. It would mean the world to me as I pour my soul into each piece I share.

Working with me

If you’re wanting to do any of the following then reach out to me:

• live with more courage,

• discover and speak your truth confidently,

• set boundaries with family members and others

• deepen your relationship to yourself and your partner

Doing a one-to-one coaching session with me is the best way for us to begin unpacking the challenge you’re facing.

Here’s a few words from a recent client:

“V's work is truly life-changing. His wisdom and insights are unmatched, and his ability to share fresh, refreshing perspectives has deeply impacted me. Personally, he has helped me grow so much in my relationship, offering clarity and tools that have strengthened my connection and understanding. I am endlessly grateful for his guidance and highly recommend him to anyone seeking personal growth or a new way of looking at life.” - Kaitlyn Kaerhart

With love,

V