The Sacred Pause

Dying and being reborn

A special shout out to all the new subscribers who have joined since the last newsletter went out. Thank you for valuing my work when there are so many things that can take your attention online. I appreciate you beyond words.

Although this is usually a paid edition of the Soul Wisdom newsletter, I am gifting this to all of my readers today. I only ask that you share this with one other soul you feel it would resonate with to help bring healing to the world.

Note: I am taking the next couple weeks off from publishing anything as I am being called to rest by my soul. I will post once again on the first Sunday in August. My invitation to you in the meanwhile is to not consume as much content and be as present as you can be.

Life Hits Pause

“The quieter you become, the more you are able to hear” - Rumi

Once again life has hit pause for me.

Every so often there comes a time on the spiritual journey where everything is forced to crumble and die. It is turned upside down and inside out so that changes can take place for the future.

Recently life has felt heavy and muddy.

There has been a violent shaking of the tree so that the dead leaves are thrown off. I am left feeling bare in the presence of the Divine Mother once again. I have no choice but to surrender more deeply and level up my faith in the path that I am on—the pathless path, as Osho would put it.

The pathless path means you choose to follow the voice of your own soul and be carried by the current of life. Much like water, you do not follow any man made blueprint that is the construct of society. Rather, you place your trust in the innate intelligence of life to guide your way. You intuitively feel your way through life.

This is a scary thing to commit to because it is the unknown. It is the unknown because no man or woman has walked that before you. There is no GPS or map that can show you your way—each step appears one at a time specifically for you.

I’ve historically prided myself on being able to take on challenges in life. The more, the better. I felt like it was a badge of honour to survive. Like it boosted my ego somehow by knowing how much pain I’ve endured.

Lately though, I’ve felt the desire to take the boxing gloves off.

I don’t just want to survive. I want to thrive.

I’m done needing to fight my way through life.

I’ve been asking myself… what am I trying to prove? And to whom?

I’m beginning to challenge the notion that my self-esteem has to be tied to how many challenges I can conquer.

Not anymore.

I’m exhausted.

I’m being called to deeply rest and restore my spirit for whatever is to come next.

That means learning to simply be in the midst of chaos.

In hindsight I can see that everything always works out and it is ultimately for my transformation—but it isn’t easy when you’re deep in the cocoon phase. When you’ve turned to ashes once again.

Just like a phoenix, I will rise again.

My decade between 20-30 has been filled with lots deaths and rebirths of identity. And each time there is is a period of pregnant pause or sacred pause in life.

It is a time which may arise multiple times in your life. It is a time in which tyou are invited to slow down and embrace silence as you integrate and reflect on all that is happening.

Being forced into a pregnant pause I am given the opportunity to slow down and sit with my anger, sadness, shame, and anxiety. It is serving as a lesson to surrender even more deeply.—-to trust in life’s medicine even if it doesn’t taste good.

Dark Nights & Kali’s Blade

“The darkest hour of the night is right before dawn” - The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

A dark night of the soul a complete death and rebirth. This may happen many times in one lifetime.

It first happened to me in 2012. I went through a health situation that left me feeling very broken with increased self-hate and decreased self-love.

In 2017, I had to come to terms with all the failed businesses I had started and had to switch my path.

In 2019, I was called deeper into life as I left behind all the personal development stuff I had been reading and dove into understanding my emotional landscape. I also sat with Ayahuasca for the first time.

In 2023, right now, I am going through a recalibration of my identity once again.

During these periods the Hindu Goddess, Kali, is often present to guide you through this transformation. Her energy is perfect for short intense bursts of change to take place.

She is often called forth during a state of emergency in your life. It’s like being in the emergency room and needing surgery right away. She will be present for the immediate surgery for your soul but thereafter the healing journey will continue with different guides.

As Alana Fairchild puts it:

“Kali will spontaneously emerge for willing hearts, not only during difficult emotional challenges, but also when we are at significant soul breakthroughs”

Kali cuts through all illusion and helps you see the truth.

She removes all that no longer resonates and is for your highest good. In the moment it may feel like you are being beheaded. It done swiftly and cleanly, so you can grow into the next one, which your soul is ready to do, which leaves your ego desperately grasping onto familiarity and comfort—which there isn’t much left of.

It is a time of spiritual transformation.

Destruction and creation happen simultaneously.

The soul feels like it is suffocating in its old shell and can no longer breathe.

It is time for the identity to fall away.

Suffering is Grace

“Within the spiritual journey you understand that suffering becomes something that has been given to you to show you where your mind is still stuck. It's a vehicle to help you go to work. That's why it's called grace.” - Ram Dass

Ultimately this is all for transformation. All of this suffering can be transmuted into something beautiful.

I know I am being cleaned out by the Great Spirit to be a vessel for life to purely express itself through me.

Each of us pilgrims are on a journey of self exploration but it isn’t going anywhere. The journey is the destination. Its about who we become along the way, not where we go.

Here are some invitations which may support you when you are going through a challenging period in life:

1. Reach out to friends you feel safe hanging with and talking to.

2. Allow yourself to change your routine to something that feels comfortable. Don’t be rigid with your discipline.

3. Listen to music and go for a walk on your own or with a friend.

4. Take a short break to another location if you can.

5. Slow down and rest more.

I admire those of you who are committed to your healing journey. It isn’t always pleasant. Your face gets ripped off regularly and your heart feels like it is being squeezed, and your soul suffocaties. But it is life’s purifying process. It is alchemising you into your next version.

Journal Prompts

1. What is life inviting you to let go of?

2. What do you feel is no longer true in your life right now?

3. Finish this sentence: “In this moment my soul is craving…”

1 thing I’m loving right now

Working with oracle decks is fairly new for me but my soul has been drawn to them recently and I’m really enjoying the guidance it is giving me. It feels like it has entered my reality at the perfect time

.One love,

V

Want to work with me?

If you’re craving a safe space to explore your identity more deeply then find out more about working privately with me here

I regularly share short solo episodes and longer guest conversations on my podcast Soul Wisdom Stories. You can listen here