The Truth Hurts Before It Heals

The fire of truth

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The Truth Hurts Before It Heals

“Fire tests gold, as suffering tests brave men.” - Seneca

I am so proud of my beautiful partner

Hannah Wallace

for walking onto the TEDx stage a few weeks ago and sharing her truth, her story.

We thrive as a community. None of us can progress in this life alone. We need support. We need to lean on one another at various times.

Her story isn’t just about her.

She is a voice for the many disabled people who have come before her and will come after her, and for those who aren’t able to speak up today.

We forget that any one of us can become disabled in an instant. It isn’t something that just happens with age. And if you do come face to face with that reality, you’ll realise just how much more the world could be accessible and inclusive.

Please watch, leave a comment, and share with anyone you feel will resonate.

A few thoughts about truth I’ve had recently:

1. I struggled to write most of this week. Last night I wrote a bunch of stuff. I wasn’t happy with it. Then, this morning as I sat to write, in a flash, I knew what to write. The truth is, sometimes you can’t force a thing, no matter how badly you want it, it will not happen before it is time. There is a time for everything. I am realising that more and more. The time between now and the thing you want is between identities, between births. What do you do between that seemingly vacant time? You are being taught stability, patience, faith, surrender. So you can comfortably embody the new identity that is on its way. Life knows what she is doing. Death and rebirth is always waiting to happen. When you are reluctant to let go, you become a blockage in the pipe. You choke on the life that you’ve created leaving the nourishment of your new life on the table because you’re afraid to let go. Sometimes death happens in little ways, sometimes in big ways. What death are you not allowing to happen? What do you need to let go of? What do you need to welcome more of? Being between identities is painful. It is not an easy time. When you are feeling lost and purposeless, there is nothing to do but sit there, with faith.

2. How often do we run from ourselves? The truth is, some of you are living a life that you’ve outgrown or never really aligned with in the first place. We’ve been running for years. The truth is, the truth is hard to face each day. We do everything, apart from turn to it.

3. No one tells you that before the truth sets you free, it’ll scar you along the way. I’ve noticed how I’ve often wrestled with a truth before I’ve gently settled into it.

4. I had a day off recently. I noticed how I struggled to relax. I wanted to be more productive. To do more action. To fill my calendar with things. Reluctantly, I didn’t. I leaned into the quiet voice that said “rest”. There is a time to act and a time to rest. That is the rhythm of nature.

5. I’m yearning for a more stable mind. I notice how a whirlwind of turbulence often passes through my mind. Thought after thought after thought. Although I know in theory “I am not my thoughts”. It is often hard to settle into that experience.

6. The truth is there is so much theory spread on the internet about how to do “this” and how to do “that” and how to “experience” something. I wonder how many of these people are actually living their truth vs regurgitating what they’ve read or been told? I will only listen to those who are embodying their truth. That means looking past their words and watching their actions, and even more subtle than that, feeling their energy. It’s not rocket science, get quiet for a second and really ask yourself, do I feel safe listening to this person? Your gut will tell you. Listen.

7. I don’t like the word “personal development” because its connotation is with the mind. Mindset isn’t everything. My journey now is about going from head, to heart, to soul. The ultimate pilgrimage. The mind is a beautiful tool to get things done. But, it is a horrible place to live from. So many of us live inside the hamster wheel of our mind. Running on the same programs over and over and over. It’s exhausting.

8. Talking of another way to live, I saw a movie called Kantara. I’ve been meaning to watch this for a few months. A few days ago I took the evening to settle into my sofa with my heated blanket and watch it with subtitles. It is a South Indian movie from a region of India called Karnataka, where they speak a language called Kannada. It is not a language I am familiar with. Most Bollywood movies are spoken in Hindi. Anyway, in this movie the King gets tired of living the life he is living. He has riches, he has a family, he has land. He has everything, but peace of mind evades him. He seeks out a wiseman who tells him to go on a search alone to find peace. You cannot move forward in your path unless you yearn for something deeper. There comes a time when you get tired of walking the same path and want something more from life. You yearn for a deeper truth. Anyway, the last 10 minutes of the movie were mind-blowing. The protagonist begins channelling a fierce guardian deity and it clearly shows through the screen. I had goosebumps. There is so much more to say about this movie. But I’ll leave it there for now.

9. I’ve been thinking about how I resonate with the phoenix. Dying and being reborn many times over. Letting go of an identity can sometimes be a painful death. Other times it is like a robe that easily slips off.

10. I sat each morning the last few days to read The Gift by Hafiz. One particular line of his poetry that stood out: “True art makes the divine silence in the soul break into applause.”

11. The truth is, the greatest love story is not an elaborate Disney description. It is two souls who feel safe doing absolutely nothing together.

12. A question I have been pondering: What does the next evolution of my relationship to God look like? We often focus on improving our relationship to our partner, or even with ourselves, but what about with God? Something I am curious about is what the next evolution of my relationship to God looks like, feels like.

13. My truth right now is, that this whole theatre play is about self-transformation. How do I transform myself into something freer? Free from the weight of my past. Free from programming. Free from expectations. Free from ancestral bondage. Free from the choices I made that have not served me. Free from the masks I have become accustomed to wearing. What does freedom actually feel like?

With love,

V

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Working with me

If you’re wanting to do any of the following then reach out to me:

• live with more courage,

• discover and speak your truth confidently,

• understand your emotions and your patterns,

• set boundaries with family members and others,

• deepen your relationship to yourself and your partner.