What If?

The other side of receiving help

Soul Wisdom is a weekly newsletter. Please feel free to share parts of this letter that connect with you, or send to someone you love. A special shout out to all the new subscribers who joined since the last newsletter. Thank you for valuing my work when there are so many things that can take your attention online. I appreciate you. It means everything. 🖤

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

A song I recently discovered from a friend’s playlist:

“All we really have is conditioning behavior and its consequences”. - BF Skinner

While I don’t believe this is the only force shaping our lives, it undeniably plays a significant role. I also believe that nature—through astrology, past lives, or cosmic currents we can’t fully comprehend—nudges us along. Even if you don’t share that perspective, the essence of Skinner’s idea remains profoundly relevant.

The conditioning we experience, especially in childhood, leaves a lasting imprint. It influences:

• The stories we tell ourselves about who we are and aren’t.

• What we believe is possible and what isn’t.

• How we navigate relationships—with ourselves, our partners, and the world.

These patterns shape our lives, often without us realizing their depth or reach.

Recently, I spoke with a potential client, a young CEO in his mid-twenties. He’s been given a significant investment for his new company—a focused, driven individual, but firmly rooted in the mindset of “my way or no way.” When he said, “I don’t believe in Executive Coaching,” it was clear he wasn’t open to exploring new approaches.

My role isn’t to convince someone to seek help. That’s exhausting. Instead, it’s about doing the work myself, leading by example, and sparking curiosity about what might be possible. If someone chooses to lean into that curiosity, that’s their decision.

Before our conversation ended, I left him with this question:

“What if the best version of yourself and your business lies on the other side of that story?”

In other words, what if the results you’re seeking (and beyond) await in a version of yourself that’s receiving help and growing in ways you can’t yet imagine?

Often, our resistance to help is rooted in a story we’ve told ourselves—perhaps shaped by past experiences where seeking help didn’t end well.

• When was the last time you asked for help?

• When was the last time you gave someone the opportunity to help you?

• What are you afraid might happen if you did?

• What other areas of your life could benefit from allowing others in?

• Do you associate receiving help with weakness, incapability, or not being enough?

These stories, whether conscious or not, often keep us stuck.

We can’t always see our blind spots on our own. Many of my biggest breakthroughs have come from conversations with others—moments when I allowed myself to see things differently and question my beliefs.

The real magic happens when we hold the stories we tell ourselves lightly. In doing so, we remain open to new perspectives, fresh possibilities, and a new way of being.

If my words have helped you in some way, I humbly invite you to consider upgrading your subscription to paid as a way to show your support. It would mean the world to me as I pour my soul into each piece I share.

Working with me

If you’re wanting to do any of the following then reach out to me:

• live with more courage,

• discover and speak your truth confidently,

• set boundaries with family members and others

• deepen your relationship to yourself and your partner

Doing a one-to-one coaching session with me is the best way for us to begin unpacking the challenge you’re facing.

Here’s a few words from a recent client:

“I’m so open to change and acceptance now. Thank you for making me feel that it’s okay. There were issues that I was suppressing and hadn’t known. Thank you for making me realise how important it is to address them. I find it a lot easier to talk about my insecurities now and I’m a lot more open. You are the actual stepping stone I needed. It sounds all easy yes, but it’s definitely been on my chest for a long long time leading up to us finally having those conversations.” - Yuvistha

With love,

V