What love is teaching me
My most important message.
Soul Wisdom is a weekly newsletter. Please feel free to share parts of this letter that connect with you, or send to someone you love. A special shout out to all the new subscribers who joined since the last newsletter. Thank you for valuing my work when there are so many things that can take your attention online. I appreciate you. It means everything. 🖤
A song I’ve been enjoying recently:
I recently took a late-night Uber ride home, and the driver mentioned something interesting about my area—it’s known for having a lot of grammar schools. He went on to tell me about a girl who gained national attention for completing 27 GCSEs (General Certificates of Secondary Education, a UK qualification marking the end of high school).
What struck me wasn’t just the story but the way he said it—with such awe, as if it were the ultimate achievement. While it is impressive, I couldn’t help but think: Is this the only form of intelligence? We place so much importance on this one period of education, as if it defines the course of someone’s entire life. But successfully completing a mountain of exams isn’t necessarily a reflection of the quality of your life. They’re mostly a test of memory and regurgitation.
It reminded me of Einstein’s quote:
“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
I’ve never been the smartest in terms of exam results, but I’ve come to value another kind of intelligence—one that isn’t taught in school: the ability to build meaningful relationships. Understanding myself and connecting with others in a deep, authentic way. The world is made up of people. Our lives are made up of a series of human-to-human interactions.
Although words are a great tool to express the energy inside me, they can also be so… heady. They can be a crutch—an escape from truly feeling. Words let us explain, contemplate, and create—but they can also keep us stuck in our heads, pulling us away from being fully present. Sometimes, the most important thing isn’t what we say or think. It’s simply being—here and now, with what is.
How much of our lives do we spend in our heads? Intellectualizing, rationalizing? How often do we let go and simply feel another person’s presence?
As time goes on, I feel called to speak more about love and relationships. About breaking the limited perceptions of what the “right” relationship looks like—with ourselves and others. About what love is and isn’t. About navigating family dynamics.
One of the most important pieces I wrote this year was my love story about how I met Hannah. There’s so much I’ve learned about myself since being in a relationship with this woman.
A friend recently said to me, “You’ve been a relationship coach your whole life—not just in love but in family dynamics too!”
It’s true.
I have.
I just didn’t realize it at the time.
We’ve all been on a journey that’s taught us so much wisdom, if only we were willing to pause and truly see it.
I never thought in a million years that I’d meet my life partner through a podcast. And I definitely didn’t think she’d be a white woman nearly 10 years older than me who uses a wheelchair. I had an entirely different image in mind. Yet the love I feel is deep, eternal, true. A humbling lesson from love.
Love doesn’t look a certain way.
The perfect relationship does exist—just not the one we’ve been conditioned to believe in.
I’ve had interesting conversations with others navigating “unusual” relationship dynamics they never expected to be in. There’s so much to unpack around this—especially about how to communicate vulnerably with your partner, stand in your power, and set boundaries with family.
While I’m busy drafting future words exploring all this, feel free to explore these reflections on love and relationships in the meantime:
What else my heart wants to say:
“Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman
As I sit reflecting on what I truly love. It’s this:
I love being with humans—helping them connect more deeply to themselves and others.
For me, life is about human connection. About understanding what makes relationships the way they are.
I love creating a beautiful space to hear their stories—the ones they tell with ease and the ones they’ve hidden away. Feeling their hearts as their truths unfold. Witnessing the moments when they connect the dots and discover their own wisdom. Hearing their voices soften, then grow stronger. Rise with excitement, crumble with sadness. Feeling them step into their power, saying the words they thought they never could—the ones buried for decades. Seeing tears long held back finally flow. Seeing their smiles shine once again.
It’s in these moments, when someone’s essence comes through, that I feel most alive. Helping others reclaim their light and step into their truth helps me connect to my own light. Challenging the narratives that confine us, unraveling old programming, and creating space for healing—that’s what makes me feel expansive.
I love listening deeply, holding space for someone to unfurl at their own pace. To release what’s been bottled up. To feel safe enough to let go. To explore the dry, forgotten rivers of their heart until they flow freely again.
As the year comes to a close, I leave you with this question:
What makes you come alive in a beautiful way?
Explore that. Do more of it in this next chapter.
And if you’re unsure, ask God to guide you.
Offer a prayer and see how life responds.
Lastly, if my words have resonated with you this year or helped you in some way, I humbly invite you to consider upgrading your subscription to paid as a way to show your support. It would mean the world to me as I pour my soul into each piece I share.
With love,
V
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